The Husband Who Sticks To His Laptop Like Glue!
The ill effects of gradually getting addicted to social media are real. There seems to be more and more opportunities to get addicted to all sorts of devices, apps and anything that connects you to the online world.
I often wonder if our next generation of children will ever get to know what real human connection is like! Will they know what it feels like to have a spouse who is present?
That thought might have crossed your mind about your own marriage. If you’re feeling distanced from your spouse, it could potentially cause you much heartache to see them spend so much time on social media, or glued to their laptop or phone doing anything at all.
You may find yourself wondering…
- He doesn’t make time for me, but seem to be able to make ample time for Whatsapp…
- They get fed up after 10 minutes of chatting with me, but can watch Netflix for hours…
- It seems like YouTube is a part of his life, but am I?
- Surely they can’t still be doing work on the laptop when it’s midnight now!
If this is a pain point for you, you’re not alone. Other sisters also go down such rabbit holes of thinking when they yearn for more time and connection from their husband.
The root of feeling so distanced might appear to be your spouse's screen time, however, there's something much deeper going on, and to realise that can bring a powerful shift.
Yes, of course, if you don't spend time with each other, distance will come between you. It makes sense to address that concern. But before that…
Your feelings are directly coming from your thought in the moment... If your thoughts are dwelling on how much time they spend with you vs their laptop or phone, the only feelings you can possibly feel are directly whatever you're thinking.
Thoughts of loneliness = lonely feelings.
Thoughts of hate = feelings of hate.
Thoughts of hurt = feelings of hurt.
The flip side would be to acknowledge that your thoughts are creating deeply unpleasant feelings, and to decide instead to address the problem, without the cloudiness of feelings getting in the way.
Whether that's discussing it lovingly with your spouse, or committing to initiating some fun together again by going out daily, or sitting down to create some marriage goals together.
You don't need to jump into the deep end - if there's quite a bit of distance between you both at the moment, start small. Touch base daily, even if it’s just a light brief physically touch.
As you take responsibility for your part of the relationship and start to take things forward, you might find your emotions start coming in the way again if you don't get the response you'd like from your husband or as quick as you’d like.
That's where a deeper perspective on what’s really going on under the surface can help you deal with issues longer term.
And here’s where you can turn it all around by reversing out of the rabbit hole of thinking, and heading here instead:
By clicking the link above, not only will you get on the list to get more content like this, you'll also get free training on how to have difficult discussions that are needed to move beyond barriers.