How To Bond With Our Children

As parents, when we plan how much time in the week we intend to spend with our children, it’s easy to focus on how much time we’re spending with them, as opposed to the quality of interactions between us.

Many sisters organise their work around their kids school hours so that they can be at home when the kids get home mashaAllah.

When we are around our kids on a daily basis, how do we interact with them?

What kind of communication exists between us?

Without intentional communication we can easily slip into interactions that simply allow us to function on a practical level only.

Such as reminding the kids to do their homework, 

telling them to do their chores, 

calling them down for dinner, 

asking them to pop by the shops for something, 

discussing whether or not they can visit their friends or meet online, 

negotiating their screen time for that day,… and so on.

You know what I’m talking about, right?

If we were to add up the amount of time in the day we spend on just giving commands, would it make up the majority? With a little praise sprinkled in between?

How about making the majority of our interactions full of real connection, real bonding?

Such as chatting freely as you would with a friend, conversing about interesting topics, having a laugh together, and allowing them to chat about the things they love to talk about.

Whether your child is into Harry Potter, Personality Types or football, chat to them on their level about these things. 

The same way we like to share our interests with our friends, and feel a sense of connection with them, our children will bond with us when they get a chance to share their interests with us.

I love showing great enthusiasm when it comes to getting creative with Lego, because it really lights up my son. He truly believes we both share a love of Lego, and that’s what makes him seek me out at home to show me each cool thing he creates.

He connects with me through his love of Lego, and that’s what increases our bond – because I’m open to connecting in that way.

Similarly, the best moments I have with my daughter is when we have interesting discussions about personality types and temperaments. The topic fascinates her and she loves to share what she learns with me.

Now, often her brother says that’s all she ever talks about. But I can happily get deep into that topic with her, not because I love the topic, but because I love bonding with her through whatever interests her.

It brings us closer.

With a noisy mind, it’s hard to find the capacity to converse on the level of our children every single day. 

When we have thoughts screaming out at us about all the things we have to do, and that we don’t have much time before the next task, it’ no wonder we feel too stressed to sit and talk about Harry Potter!

However, with a quietened mind, all of this becomes effortless. 

Life becomes clearer and lighter, and it’s simply enjoyable having real connection with our children, even if it’s while we’re cooking, driving or folding laundry.

Where can you get a taste of that quiet mind, I hear you ask?

Here's a Free Training where you can learn more about it: