How Scary Will It Be When Your Kids Fly The Nest?

What kind of parents will we be when our kids are married and move on to start their own family?

How many times have we heard of marriages where the in-laws play a hand in the issues the marriage is facing?

I'm sure neither of us want to be such in-laws - may Allah protect us.

Many many years ago, a friend once shared a scary thought with me.

As she and I are both homeschoolers (including outwith Covid times), we have been with our children most of their lives. Had they gone to school, they would’ve had at least 6 hours of each day away from us.

She considered that when our kids are ready to leave the nest, it may be a greater struggle for us as homeschooling mums, than if they’d gone to school and we were used to having them away from us during school hours.

She suggested that although we don’t want to become ‘difficult’ mother-in-laws, perhaps we don’t realise just how hard it would be to ‘let go’ of our children.

Back then that thought scared me…

I never want to come in the way of my kids growing and moving forward in life!

I’d never want to be the cause of any pain, emotional or otherwise, to my children or their spouses.

At the time of our discussion, it really got me evaluating myself from within and questioning whether I would ever become the kind of person I really didn’t want to.

Since I’ve discovered the Psychological Reality – the reality of how our minds work – that thought just doesn’t scare me anymore.

Alhumdulilah, I am now aware of exactly where my feelings come from and it’s definitely not from whether my kids live with me, without me, near me or far from me. 

My feelings don’t come from how much time my children give to me, or how little time they give to me.

Nor do my feelings come from how much they show they value me, or how little they show they value me.

Inevitably, my relationship with my children will evolve, change and adapt as more responsibilities fill their plate.

The powerful truth in all of this is, when the time comes for them to fly the nest, I will feel whatever I think at that time, which may even be deep gratitude that they’ve found the spouses Allah ordained for them, inshaAllah.

Where does this clarity of thought, peace of mind and deep awareness that leads to resilience, calm and being okay with whatever Allah tests you with come from?

A deep understanding of the true paradigm. Knowing how we have been created.

Whether our nests are full, empty or in the making InshaAllah 😊 we can prepare to be the best in-laws our kids (or future kids) have ever heard of.

Here's where you can start that preparation:

Free Marriage, Parenting and Insight Trainings