Are Marriage Quick Fixes Justified?

My husband had to use his briefcase bag for his new laptop until the laptop bag arrived. When I looked inside it, although it’s a lovely bag, I saw how oversized it was.

It's definitely better than having no protection for the laptop at all, but once we’re out and about, if he needs to take it outdoors all the extra room would leave the new laptop unprotected. It may begin to loosen at the spine where the screen joins the keyboard. (I’m calling it a spine but I think you might know what I mean!) 😊

The damage might not be so obvious initially, but over time it can begin to wear out the laptop.

That got me thinking about how we treat our emotional health and marriage issues…

Some people recognise they have issues that need addressed, and might choose a fix that's easy and convenient but doesn't quite fit. 

I've seen many sisters ask for advice on Facebook about their real serious marriage issues that need addressed fully. They need to deal with these deep issues in the best way possible, so that issues are dealt with long term, not just given a quick fix.

There are always well-intentioned sisters who give their well-meaning replies, mashaAllah, but a deep issue requires more than a quick fix.

At times, these well-intentioned sisters may well be innocently advising based upon their own hurts and their own past pain without realising, and therefore the size may not fit.

When someone is still hurting due to a past difficulty, unless they are over it, and they know about how their mind works, it doesn't make sense to get advice from them. The best place to get advice would be from those who recognise when their own thoughts are clouding their advice and have been trained to separate themselves from it.

Whilst I recognise some sisters might not know who else they can approach for help, asking on Facebook is exactly the place to get oversized advice about our precious delicate relationships.

The damage might not be so obvious, it may creep up little by little, until the damaged relationships stare us in the face.

It's like treating a serious physical issue like a cancer tumour with advice from YouTube or memes from the internet!

Doesn't make sense, does it?

You'd expect such a person to go to their doctor or alternative health professional if they needed advice on a serious physical disease.

Why then do we take our mental health so lightly when our relationships mean so much to us and play such a big part of our lives?

I don't know the answer to that, it truly baffles me...

But sitting here on my laptop being baffled isn’t going to help solve anything either, is it?

That's why I've created free trainings that come from my desk as a qualified marriage counsellor and parenting coach who knows how Allah has created us and how our psychology plays out in our relationships (with more than 11 years of experience working with clients). 

Free Marriage, Parenting and Insight Trainings